# The MAN CHAIR!



## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

So, I had this humorous thought and a friend said.."That would be unique, but my wife would never allow it in the house!"
But what about making it for myself?

I wanted something that said MALE's ONLY in design. A chair no self respecting woman would want to sit on. A chair that you had to lie to the young grandchildren and say "The divot is so if change falls out of your pocket it can be found in the divot". A chair for the Man Cave. It had to have those comforts that no other chair offers. Add to that, a measuring device for your MAN HOOD!

So I had some walnut slabs that were warped into a curve.
I went into assembly mode and in the end I had a product that did all I had set out to do. Epoxy finished and topcoat with polyurethane.

Goal met.


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## Jig_saw (May 17, 2015)

I wonder what your design of a woman's chair would look like. Just a thought.


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## Tony B (Jul 30, 2008)

This is the kind of chair that brings to mind the expression "sit your ugly ass down".

Why would you want to be able to sit down and measure your member in your man cave? Possibly to impress your buddies that you know how to measure in centimeters?






















t


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## Tony B (Jul 30, 2008)

I guess the 'nut tray' can be considered an ammo carrier and I have 3 questions:

Can the chair be aimed?
If you drink too much beer, can you still remember which gun to use when?
Does your therapist know about this?


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## Tree Hugger (Sep 1, 2011)

You know some buckshot would really make it pop. 
Not to close though ...back up some so you'll get a good pattern and the pellets just stick in the wood.
With the wheel gun you should shoot right through for best effect.
I'm guessing about six beers for best artistic effect , but be your own judge in this.
Get cabin fever much up you way ??


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

This is nuts.. I think changing from boxers to briefs may help...No offense but this isn't right but I'm guessing your kidding......Are you??


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

My Therapist?
Never discussed it with her. Wife's not thrilled though. 
Her Urologist Nurse friend loves it. Ha!

In the seat back (not shown) in a knot hole there is a 357 bullet embedded in epoxy for that shooting effect.

Oh, and for those less endowed the 1" brass tack measuring device is actually spaced 7/8" apart to make those of you feel better (no centimeters).

Hmmm. Woman Chair? Needs a shift knob I would suppose. How many 7/8" markers would be needed on the shaft? 4 or 5 speed?


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## epicfail48 (Mar 27, 2014)

This entire thread is so delightfully messed up


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## cmart9 (Mar 21, 2016)

Would that shotgun happen to be a Winchester model 12? It looks like it. Nice chair too, by the way.


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

What would make someone be interested in this boy chair??. .I also respect women to much to talk about a shifter and the rest of that crap....Just my opinion .....I did think at first thought he was kidding but he wasnt...Does anyone no what causes this?


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## Tree Hugger (Sep 1, 2011)

mat 60 said:


> ...Does anyone no what causes this?


 I dunno ...Home made corn liquor ...cabin fever ..........or a combination there of ??

Kudos for the epoxied bullet ...gives me some ideas ...hummm wonder how cut down used casings would look

covering dowel pin holes ..... would give an unique greene and greene effect.


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

cmart9
Good eye. Yes, a nickel plate Model 12 Winchester, 1948ish and a S&W 357, 6" barrel.

Tree Hugger.
The covered dowel pin idea sounds interesting. I could use that one.
I do incorporate things in table tops in epoxy to suit a clients desires on occasion. Shell casings and spent bullets are occasionally used.


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## epicfail48 (Mar 27, 2014)

mat 60 said:


> What would make someone be interested in this boy chair??. .I also respect women to much to talk about a shifter and the rest of that crap....Just my opinion .....I did think at first thought he was kidding but he wasnt...Does anyone no what causes this?


Entertainment mostly. Perhaps he like baiting people into speculating on his mental health in internet forums


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

If you can't have a sense of humor in what you do and who you are, your dead inside.
I get a lot of fun comments from others when this chair is seen. Many are right here in this thread.

As said to me the other morning in a mixed (male/female) breakfast get together.
"Americans are too uptight about nudity, sexual issues and their bodies."

So this was done for fun and to loosen folks up a bit.
Been married to the same woman for 39 years who is not uptight (ok, maybe a little). So I respect women, but at the same time I'm open minded and do like to play...but I never cheat on my beautiful wife, Rule #1.
Sense of humor, and fun enters into our longevity.

So loosen up folks.


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## unclefester (Aug 23, 2013)

If think you're mistaken.
Rule Number 1:
Happy wife, Happy life


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## BigJim (Sep 2, 2008)

Aard said:


> "Americans are too uptight about nudity, sexual issues and their bodies."


You haven't been watching many TV commercials lately have you. LOL


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

That's the point Jim.
Here it's raw and controversial, but in Germany, when the sun comes out, many will strip naked during lunch hour and get some sun. Nobody there thinks twice about it. 
Canadian CBC Tv back in the 70's ran Benny Hill with full frontal nudity during prime time. I would watch it when I lived in Detroit being broadcasted out of Windsor.
Here many men won't have a female doctor in concern they might have to strip in front of them or talk of male issues. 
Same w/ women in the reverse scenario .

We're a little uptight about nudity and sexuality.

Mind you, I'm a Christian and firm about it, but the people I know are overly upset about such things. It isn't the nudity, it's the actions and thoughts we have about it that can be classified as a sin (per se'). GOD gave us these bodies....enjoy em, as per HIS (Biblical) instructions. The human form is beautiful. No Muslim female garb required.


And have fun.


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## Chamfer (Sep 6, 2014)

A little salty for a site that supposedly gets all sorts of traffic and to me quite hypocritical for a claimed christian to be posting. But since I am not held responsible for the former and laugh at the latter, I can dig it.

Nice shooters too.


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## BigJim (Sep 2, 2008)

Aard said:


> That's the point Jim.
> Here it's raw and controversial, but in Germany, when the sun comes out, many will strip naked during lunch hour and get some sun. Nobody there thinks twice about it.
> Canadian CBC Tv back in the 70's ran Benny Hill with full frontal nudity during prime time. I would watch it when I lived in Detroit being broadcasted out of Windsor.
> Here many men won't have a female doctor in concern they might have to strip in front of them or talk of male issues.
> ...


Aard, remember God wasn't happy with the fig leaves Adam and Eve made their covers of, he made them clothes out of animal hides, he meant for man and woman to be covered. At the rate it is going people will be going nude soon enough.


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## unclefester (Aug 23, 2013)

BigJim said:


> Aard, remember God wasn't happy with the fig leaves Adam and Eve made their covers of, he made them clothes out of animal hides, he meant for man and woman to be covered. At the rate it is going people will be going nude soon enough.


If we do go nude soon, I'll set man kind back a hundred years when I scratch where it itches


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

Well, I am Christian, serious about it and have not advocated that we run around naked. 
I think the Germany example is a little extreme as well, but my point is to describe the differences worldwide on the concept of nudity and that here we're a little uptight about it. 
Great pieces of artwork have the human form exposed. I could go through a few of them but sense you all might know of a few of them.

Also with your spouse in the privacy of your own residence, is where I stand on things. Still, all in all to see nudity doesn't bother, offend or arouse me. It's what we are. 

The chair doesn't denote a sexual act. It's a joke designed for humor and it gets that response.
That's why I built it.

So I see no hypocritical actions on my stance.
....
A thought, Big Jim.
If Adam and Eve were sinless and then needed a fig leaf after sin entered, will we be clothed in heaven where there is no sin?
Just a curious question.


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

Aard said:


> Hmmm. Woman Chair? Needs a shift knob I would suppose. How many 7/8" markers would be needed on the shaft? 4 or 5 speed?


 What about this crap?


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

What about it?
My woman isn't uptight about that kind of thing.


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

No offense to you ..If its fine with the forum its ok with me...Hay..Whats next a women toy building thread?..I do hope there are no Lady's here..


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## Tony B (Jul 30, 2008)

Only one - The Administrator


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## BigJim (Sep 2, 2008)

Aard said:


> Well, I am Christian, serious about it and have not advocated that we run around naked.
> I think the Germany example is a little extreme as well, but my point is to describe the differences worldwide on the concept of nudity and that here we're a little uptight about it.
> Great pieces of artwork have the human form exposed. I could go through a few of them but sense you all might know of a few of them.
> 
> ...


I apologize if you think I was pointing out that you were being hypocritical, that was not my intent at all. I was just making a statement about what the Bible said.

As far as being clothed in Heaven, there will be no material things there, it is spiritual. There will be no male or female, no need for each as there will be no reproduction. 

I'm not trying to make you feel bad or look bad, just making statements of the Bible.

Oh I assumed the chair was built as a joke, no problem as far as I am concerned.


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## epicfail48 (Mar 27, 2014)

mat 60 said:


> No offense to you ..If its fine with the forum its ok with me...Hay..Whats next a women toy building thread?..I do hope there are no Lady's here..


Mate, I think you're the only one making a fuss over it. What aard said was clearly meant as a joke, a joke that's all the more obvious given that this is a thread about a chair with a built-in penis measurement device. I think it's fairly obvious to all that aard wasn't actually degrading woman, is there any reason to raise such a stink over it?


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

Thanks All.
This is what I like about this forum. The tolerance and friendliness of it's members is always appreciated.

Big Jim.
No offense taken.
Yeah, that's how I take heavenly situations. Glad your on top of it. Mind/Body/Spirit and then the body which is a disposable asset goes away and we are eternal. (Gotta Love It)

Matt/Epic.
Hope there is a woman there for a toy build thread. We could use the design advice....Ha!
......
My wife's friend and her 2 teenage girls are visiting this weekend. My wife wants to throw a seat cushion over my Man Chair! What's with that? I'm proud of my chair!
Male emasculation? (my head is in my hands)


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## woodnthings (Jan 24, 2009)

*your wife is right ... again.*

Happy Wife, Happy Life as it goes. :wink2:


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## Travico (Dec 25, 2012)

Nice Funny Chair, the measurement is way to LONG for me. My wife would use the Guns on me, if I built this chair!!! I do like the bullet in the chair though!!


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

Thanks Travico.
Aw, come on. The measuring device is 7/8" increments to show a little more than reality. If yer 6" you'll appear to be 6.5".
Anything to help our cause. Ha!

Yeah, the bullet idea came from a friend I did a coffee table for. He's an avid shooter and I installed some spent bullets and shell casings in his table top. He was thrilled. In the epoxy you can read the fine details on the casings.
Tree Hugger.
If your there, I'm using your idea of cutting down some 38 cal casings for dowel hole plugs. Instead though, I'm using it on a headboard to hide screw heads.


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## djg (Dec 24, 2009)

Nice chair and table (and Model 12!). This gives me some ideas on what to do with the cupped Walnut flitches I have.


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## Jig_saw (May 17, 2015)

Probably someone who would have appreciated the man chair (recognize him?):


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

I actually don't recall him.
Please remind me of who it is.


djg 
Thats what got me to build my chair. The slab had a deep cupping to it and was unusable for a table top. By the time I would have planed it down there wouldn't have been much left out of the 1 1/2" slab. So the contour worked as a chair back and seat.


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## Jig_saw (May 17, 2015)

David Letterman!


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

Woah has he worked up!


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## Tree Hugger (Sep 1, 2011)

"Tree Hugger.
If your there, I'm using your idea of cutting down some 38 cal casings for dowel hole plugs. Instead though, I'm using it on a headboard to hide screw heads. "




Yeah .38/.357 brass mics out about perfect for a 3/8 hole. 


Have to check out some other calibers.


Post up some pics with it.


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## woodnthings (Jan 24, 2009)

*they make nice drawer pulls also*

I used some shortened .38 Specials on these jewelry box drawers:


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

Aard..Would you conceder making one chair for two??:smile3:


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

Mat 60
Love seat?
Sure.
Generally though I make tables.
Got a design in mind?

Tree hugger.
I put on the last coats an hour ago. Tomorrow it goes on the wall and gets photographed. I'll start a thread here.

Wood.
Nice idea. Nice box. What are the coins?

........
Now we're having fun, ya hey der, eh? (Yooper talk!)


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

Aard said:


> Mat 60
> Love seat?
> Sure...........Quote//Matt...Ya that would ge great thanks..


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## Sleeper (Mar 24, 2009)

I just don’t know what all the hoopla is about anyway. Quite frankly when I first saw the photos, I just thought how uncomfortable it looked. Then I realized that it was joke.

The one thing I noticed on this forum is that most woodworkers have no sense of humor. I tried to be funny years ago, but finally gave up because there were too many serious people here.

I spent most of my time as a young teenager hanging out in my 4 uncle’s stair & door shop after school every day and all day during the summer. They were really great guys, but I could not get them to laugh ever. I could never figure out if they just didn’t get the jokes or if nothing was funny to them.


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

.I think he did a nice job with the chair but I here you..Some people get a bit uptight..


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## unclefester (Aug 23, 2013)

I hope he sanded it real well. Splinters..... Ouch ouch ouch


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## hwebb99 (Nov 27, 2012)

Tree Hugger said:


> "Tree Hugger. If your there, I'm using your idea of cutting down some 38 cal casings for dowel hole plugs. Instead though, I'm using it on a headboard to hide screw heads. " Yeah .38/.357 brass mics out about perfect for a 3/8 hole. Have to check out some other calibers. Post up some pics with it.


 A .500 SW should fit a 1/2 hole. If you have metric bits a 9 MM should fit a 9 millimeter hole.


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

unflefester.
16 grit sandpapered surface. It scratches your butt so you don't have to.
(kidding, I went down to 320, 2 coats of epoxy and a top coat of 2 coats of water based poly.)

Sleeper.
Actually it is comfortable. I carved out the butt cheek area. The other area you don't feel when sitting up proper.

As far as senses of humor, it seems we tapped into some of it here for our tradespeople types.
I came from a carpentry background and found them to be fun and comical, but a little crude in the process.
Other shop trades I can't speak for.


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

Tree Hugger.
I started a thread "Live edged walnut headboard" which has the 38cal casing incorporated.


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

Its shore been a fun,entertaining and educational thread...Very popular nuts and all..Thanks Aard...Im probably just as crude as the next guy..Look forward to more of your threads Aard...Yes ..Im searous..Its been fun also..


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## Wendel17 (Apr 20, 2009)

Just curious...how did you go about measuring the nut tray? ;-)


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## Tony B (Jul 30, 2008)

Filled up two 1 gallon sandwich baggies with water and traced it out.


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## Tony B (Jul 30, 2008)

hey Mat

thanks for the "like", but just dont like it too much. LOL


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

I just made the tray big enough to not let parts get hung up.
Comfort is key. Ha!


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## Wendel17 (Apr 20, 2009)

I guess that's better than going at 'em with a sharpie!


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

Yeah, ya gotta watch where ya use that Marks-A-Lot.


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## Sleeper (Mar 24, 2009)

Aard said:


> .......
> As far as senses of humor, it seems we tapped into some of it here for our tradespeople types.
> I came from a carpentry background and found them to be fun and comical, but a little crude in the process.
> Other shop trades I can't speak for.


Well I can’t argue that, I really had some fun times when I worked as a framing carpenter many years ago. It was a little different when I dealt with people stuck in cabinet or door shops. 
Now that I think about it, I do remember a guy at the lumber yard who was a royal pain in the butt and I tried avoiding him, but he was the only one working the saws if I needed some headers cut.


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## Wendel17 (Apr 20, 2009)

I work for an exhibit company. If I joked around on here like we do at work, I'd be banned for sure. People seem to be too easilly offended these days.


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## mat 60 (Jul 9, 2012)

LOL..You half to say one thing and that is this thread has been very popular...Id like to think I do what I can to help..You no,,,I think woodnthings has a chair he would like to post here...Its on Aards home page or what ever you call it..Wonder if he has it in him..


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## aardvark (Sep 29, 2011)

Matt 60
Nope not yet.


Danno.
Yup, too P.C..


Sleeper. 
When out of a shop scenario and in the field, the fun begins.


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