# I found some tool descriptions that



## edp (May 25, 2007)

adequately convey the purpose of the tools we use to the less enlightened. For instance:
*Drill Press* A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room denting the freshly finished project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing should be able to get to it.

*Circular Saw* A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

*Hacksaw* One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouiga Board principal. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence it's course, the more dismal your future becomes.

*Hose Cutter* A hand tool employed to make hoses too short (apparently related to the Circular Saw).

*Hammer* Originally emplyed as a weapon of war, the present day hammer is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object you are trying to hit.

*Wire Wheel* (motorized) Useful in cleaning paint and rust from bolts and other metal hardware before throwing them under a bench somewhere.

*SOB Tool* Any hand tool that you grab and throw across the shop while yelling "Son of a b%$#h" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most commonly, the exact tool you will need next.

Hope this is useful in opening and maintaining the lines of communication.

Ed

New additions:
*Table Saw: A stationary power tool commonly used to launch wooden projectiles

Straight Tipped Screwdriver: Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable security screws

Phillips Screwdriver: Normally used to puncture the vacuum seal under screw off lids. May also be used to strip the heads out of phillips drive screws

Belt Sander: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touchups into major refinishing jobs
*


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## TimPa (Jan 27, 2010)

i own every one of those tools and adhere to the usages as often as possible! i often invent new methods. don't tell my wife i'm having this much fun tho.

too funny:')


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